About Me
My name is Crystal, I'm 29 years old. I live in shitty So Cal...for now...Oklahoma soon...
I Love
TEXT MESSAGES!!! Sammiches, storms, the beach, starry nights, Mew, Sigur Ros, Trembling Blue Stars, Mad Men (Esp. Christina Hendricks)
I Hate
Work, people, bitches, being woken up before 2pm, talking on the phone, did I mention work?
I am barely able to write this with out tearing up.
On October 22, at 3:45 PM, my dad passed away. This is the first time I have been able to even type those words. In July, he found out that he had a dissected aortic anyeurism. They wouldn't repair it b/c his health was so bad that he would have most likely died on the table. He chose to be put on hospice since they wouldn't do the surgery for him.
At the end, he was but a shadow of his former self. My super-intelligent, strong dad had wasted away to a pile of skin and bones. He hallucinated and nothing he said made any sense....oh god it broke my heart to see him that way!! I just miss him so much that it hurts. When he passed, I wasn't home but I raced there, so I could see him one last time. I was able to sit with him quietly for awhile, and I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and told him he was the best Daddy ever. He had a small smile on his face. He is at peace now, which I am happy for, but I am also heartbroken. I miss him....my life is much lonlier without him to talk to. My parents were my best friends...the only ones I can trust. I still have my mom, at least. We're helping each other through this.
Also, before he passed, the hospice nurses mentioned that his aortic graft(that he has had for only 17 years,) had started to fail, and was very slowly deteriorating. I figured that was a factor in the decision to be placed on hospice. See, I have the same kind of graft....and I have had it for 16 years. I found out recently that mine is deteriorating too. They aren't as durable as they thought they would be. That's why I feel tired all the time, yet have a high heart rate. Or so I was told. Anyways.
I want my daddy back, back to how he was before all this crap happened. Life just sucks without him!
R.I.P. Daddy....I love you and I'll miss you every day for the rest of my life.